Monday 6 October 2008

Is Rehab losing its credibility?






“Li-Lo in Rehab crisis”, “Robbie books in as a birthday present to himself”, “Britney checks in for 3rd time this year.
These are but a few of the screaming headlines increasingly seen in publications over the past couple of years and gaining momentum at an alarming rate.

Not at all uncommon, the rehab celebrity alliance is as familiar to us as Posh’s pout.
Notably however over the past couple of years the stigma attached to the rich and famous entering these clinics has shifted dramatically.
The matter in previous years was virtually taboo in celebville. Shattering their images as perfect glossy celluloid stars, with perfect glossy lives was a considered a fate worse than death (although death nowadays is quickly being replaced by admitting any links to the church of scientology, ouch sorry Tom Cruise) .
The need to go it seemed was a (very) last resort and kept as hush, hush by their PR as possible with statements from ‘their people’ released to press such as “So and so is taking a few months of to relax and spend time with partner/friends and family” or “Mr Megastar had to pull out of filming due to unavoidable commitments”
Comments which are now reserved for female celebrities who come back from Switzerland looking remarkably ‘well rested’ and a touch different but why I can’t quite put my scalpel, oops I mean finger on.

But back to the topic at hand these stars are used having everything in excess, from money to lifestyle to partying it’s no wonder some abuse alcohol and drugs in the same excessive way. Either for enjoyment or to cope with the pressures of fame. And with money being no object it’s little wonder they find themselves with a little problem in the form of a full blown addiction on their hands sooner if not later. They’re in trouble and this is where rehab can be a saviour.

But what disturbs me is the seriousness surrounding the need to go to rehab is non-existent anymore and celebrities seem to attend with the same blasé attitude as if going to an after party.

One of Lindsay Lohans last stints saw her sneaking mates in, Britney kept checking in and out of hers as if it were the four seasons and former Busted star Matt Willis is reported to have said “he couldn’t wait to leave to go to the pub”
What was he admitted for? Yep you guessed it an alcohol problem.

It appears rehab is considered a rite of passage and you aren’t considered cool enough for their club if you haven’t done a stint at ‘The Priory dah-ling or some uber expensive retreat in the Arizona desert.

On the streets prison is the institution worthy of respect to the young, loaded and silly its rehab
The message being sent to young people seems to worryingly be booze as much as you like even take drugs till you’re off your face, but don’t fret because all you need to do is get your GP to make some sort of referral, for a nice little holiday in a fab house in the country, recharge your batteries for a bit then its back to the excesses. Think that’s a bit far out and no one thinks like that? Think again.

Thursday 2 October 2008

High Heels


                                                                   ^  The Reality, ouch!^ 


There are two words that strike the fear of Zeus in my heart. High Heels. Just the thought of them makes me break into a sweat that would put a junkie going cold turkey to shame. These towers of terror as I like to affectionately call them are just an accident waiting to happen, I thoroughly believe the inventor of heels must

a) Have been in a shit marriage and despised his wife or

b) Was screwed over big time by his ex or a string of women.

And so set about making a pair of shoes that would cause women to weep in pain with every step but be so beautiful they’d throw themselves at their alter, forever being bound into a love hate relationship with the pretty devils.

Its no accident most male shoe designers are gay!

Before you think I am some bra-burning feminist (taking into consideration my last post) I can assure you I am not.

You see, I can understand why women love shoes, I personally don’t, but then I have the same loving relationship with the handbag. Aah, my eyes are glazing over at the thought. It’s difficult to put into words the feeling I get when I see a fabulous bag, so I totally get that adoring aspect. But it’s the ridiculous 4-6 inch heels that baffle me; surely you cannot go out clubbing and have a good time with them, nor can I imagine it easy to concentrate on situations when the pain kicks in. Can you imagine trying to give a 1-2 hr presentation at work, weeks of preparation and notes could get buggered up because on the day you decided on your Laboutin skyscrapers and instead of facts, figures and statistics all you could think of is ‘My God I would happily shave my fanny with a blunt razor if someone would slide me a pair of ballet pumps.’

 Celebs attending a premiere or launch are just about the only ones who I think can get away with it, not because they look better than us, not in the slightest, but because they’re lucky enough to have what I call ‘car to bar luxury’ which means they get chauffeured to the venue, have special VIP seating, so no standing from dusk till dawn, and then get chauffeured back. So in reality there is actually very limited standing time. So they don’t suffer the indignity of having to find your night bus, have cut ,with bunions the size of golf balls.

 Why we ladies suffer for beauty is beyond me but I must dash now as I have a Brazilian booked for 2J

Sex and the City; What a load of Rollocks


I’m about to reveal something to all you readers out there that have left my girl- friends reeling in shock and many more just shaking their head trying to understand how it could possibly be.

The thing is I, Ms Beaumont, of London England absolutely hate…..Sex and the City.

There I’ve said it, it’s out there in cyberspace and it feels good.

 Often hailed by females as a refreshing and fantastic portrayal of the modern women in her attitude to sex and relationships, I find it a complete bore. When you think about it it’s not that refreshing or daring. They discuss blowjobs, so what, fair enough it may have never been done in such a way on TV before but is it worthy of  ‘Sex and the City nights’- yes these do happen. Where a group of gal pals get together dressed up to the nines just to settle in to watch the weekly half hour episode over glasses of pinot! Here’s a novel idea why not just get together and TALK TO EACH OTHER instead over a cocktail or two and not watch a bunch of women chat about what you have been doing since forever anyway!

 These women are supposedly sexy- don’t even get me started on SJP- successful, stylish, have a great friendship yet they spend all their time harping on about men, dating men and seemingly on an eternal quest to find the perfect men. So to me the message I’m getting is you can be as successful and hot as you want but unless you get a man your life will never be complete. Give me a break

I am not a cynic and do believe *cliché cringe alert* that ‘love conquers all’ and happiness is tres important but I feel this program is just way overrated.